Two Questions to Ask Your Muslim Friend (Question #1)

By Kenneth Berding May. 15, 2013 12:59 p.m. Apologetics, Evangelism, Missions

One of the hardest things Christians face when they step out to share their faith with Muslims is that the conversation almost inevitably veers toward a competitive discussion about which religion is better:  “You think this, but I think this.”  “I’m right and you’re wrong.”  Often you’ll find yourself on the defensive:  “Yes, Jesus did die on the cross…” “Yes, Jesus is the Son of God…” “No, the Bible hasn’t been changed…”  Is there any way to keep your conversation from degrading into an “I’m right and you’re wrong” discussion?

No, there is no way to avoid it altogether.  No matter how gracious you are, you will end up sometimes having to tell your Muslim friend that you disagree with him (or her).  There are some things we believe that we cannot deny.  And your Muslim friend will usually not have any qualms about telling you that he disagrees with you.  Of course, whatever you do, you should do it with grace and love.

But my own experience of living in the Middle East for seven years tells me that if the setting and relationship is right, there are two questions you can ask that will allow you to have a deeper spiritual conversation with your Muslim friend that may not automatically veer toward a comparative religions discussion.

Discussion Question #1:  “What do you think is the worst sin?”  This question can be asked even if you don’t know a person very well, as long as the discussion has already moved toward a discussion of faith commitments (which normally happens more easily with Muslims than it does with non-Muslims).  Many a taxi driver has heard this question from me.  What answer might you receive when you ask this question?  Probably the same types of responses as you might expect…  “Murder.” “Abandoning your family.” “Denying Allah.”

Now, here’s what you might say next:  “Did you know that when Jesus (“Isa”) was walking on the earth that he tended to speak gently toward people who had sinned terribly in their lives, showed forgiveness, and told them that God had made a way for them to come back into the right with him?  But he spoke strongly and called out people who were hypocrites.  Do you know what a hypocrite is?”

Now most people know what a hypocrite is.  Be prepared to openly share a story about someone who claimed to be a follower of God (from your own background, not your friend’s!) but who denied that by the way that he or she lived.  Be open; hypocrisy is universal and crosses cultures.  Your friend won’t be surprised that professing Christians are sometimes hypocrites.  Then ask your friend whether he or she has ever known anyone who is a hypocrite.  If your friend shares a situation with you, you may find yourself in a position to have a meaningful conversation about how to have a right relationship with God.  (I once had someone tell me that he knew a leader of a mosque who collected pilgrimage money as though he were setting up a tour to Mecca but turned around and stole the money.)  Now ask your friend how he or she thinks that a person can have a right, non-hypocritical relationship with God.  Then ask God to guide you as your discussion continues…

The next time I post on the Good Book Blog I will share a second question you can ask…

Have you found any ways to have meaningful conversations with Muslims that don’t immediately veer toward contentious “my religion is better” conversations?


Postcript:  Click HERE for the second question.


  • Kevin Pence May. 16, 2013 at 11:54 PM

    Thanks, Dr. Berding! I look forward to part II

    I conducted an interview with some Pakistani Muslim friends as part of a project for one of Dr. Muehlhoff's classes. One of the purposes of the project was to be able to explain the Muslim teaching on Jesus. I explained this to my friends and they agreed to be interviewed.
    I had prepared some open-ended questions and some questions that began with, "As a Christian, I believe that Jesus did/said/was...", asking them to respond with observations on how their beliefs were similar or differed. Since I was there to learn what they believed, I didn't feel any pressure to defend my own point of view. I was able to present the gospel bit by bit through my questions, and they were happy to listen to those preambles because I gave them my attention in return, and though I asked follow-up questions I didn't pressure them to accept my beliefs right then and there. I also think it impressed them that I had just read the Koran and referenced several passages that spoke of Jesus.
    The interview lasted an hour, and afterwards they gave me an opportunity to share more about my beliefs on Jesus, the reliability of the Bible, works vs grace salvation, etc. Even though the topics we discussed are typical of more contentious arguments, I was able to get them to think about the gospel seriously through strategic non-confrontation.

  • BASHIR Oct. 9, 2016 at 6:36 AM

    Dear Director / Pastor / Brother / Sister in Christ,
    Greetings to you in the most precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ!
    We are in great need of your kind prayers for our own lives and ministry specifically among the Muslims. We are very glad to share with you that our Living God has filled our hearts with His burden & vision in our lives to reach specifically to The MUSLIMS by The Gospel of Jesus Christ & plant House Churches inside Muslim community. While Muslim terrorist groups such as Islamic state , Taliban, Al Qaeda and Boko Haram are killing Christians in different countries, He is leading us to reach out to the Muslims for His own glory and help them to know that Jesus Christ is The Only Living God and Saviour.
    Our Lord Jesus is using us to fulfil His plan & will in and through our lives. By the grace of God, already Several Muslim men & women accepted Jesus in their hearts as their Lord & Saviour. They are following His teachings in the midst of different types of physical tortures by the militant Muslims. They are witnessing about Jesus and they are sharing their testimonies to their relatives &neighbors. God is adding more men & women to our worship services almost every week for His own glory.
    Militant Muslims are often torture and try to harm physically to the believers from Muslim background for their new faith in Jesus. Even though we are facing heavy persecutions & threats by the Militant Muslims, but our Lord Jesus is using our lives for the extension of His Kingdom and He has protected us for His own glory. Militant Muslims are constantly trying to murder us. Our lives are in danger at this moment.
    We are in great need of your kind prayers in our own lives and for the persecuted believers. Humbly, we request you kindly pray for God’s protection from the hands of Militant Muslims. Please also pray that we might be always faithful to His call in our lives and grow in Him.We are prayerfully expecting to have at least 500 believers from Muslim background at our fellowship.
    Please write few words for us.
    With regards,

    Bashir & team

    KINDLY PRAY FOR: House Church Fellowship, Discipleship Ministry, Women Ministry, Children Ministry, Health Care Ministries for the women & Children and Compassion Ministry (such as Distributing Clothes & blankets to the poor children & poor woman, Free tuition to the needy students, Feeding to the poor children , helping to the persecuted believers those who lost their sources of income & houses for their faith in Jesus, Educational help to the poor & needy students, Providing Nutrients for Malnourished children)

  • Ken Berding Oct. 9, 2016 at 4:28 PM

    Thank you for your note. Let me pray for you and those around you right now. "Righteous and Loving Father, I pray for my brother, Bashir, and all the others around him who are testifying about the Lord Jesus Christ in the midst of very difficult circumstances. I pray that you will fill these brothers and sisters with your power, your wisdom, and your grace as they seek to draw people around them to Jesus Christ. May they know the presence and power of the Holy Spirit and may they experience your grace as people respond to this message of Good News. Bless their ministries and encourage them in their faith today. I pray these things in the precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen."

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